Robert Arthur’s Eastern Shore
| Play Type: | Colleges, Community, High School, Large Cast, Middle School, Musical Drama, Poetic Drama, Professional |
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From Hymn to the Chesapeake:
SASSY: What do you think I care what the neighbors think?
BEN: I guess you’d care what the neighbors would think if it was about me here on Sunday morning sitting here on the porch with my shirt off.
SASSY: Now, you leave your shirt on. Don’t be a fool.
BEN: Guess I’ll just take my shirt off right here, since you don’t care what the neighbors think. SASSY: It ain’t what they think. It’s what I think that’s going to keep your shirt on…else you’re going to get this glass of lemonade right up against the side of your head.
(long pause)
LEN: Captain Turner says God’s domain ends at the shoreline and the devil’s takes up on the sea. Says God’s had enough of the sea. KATE: Every captain on the water has something to say.
LEN: Says the sea’s pure evil and that’s why he won’t ever say where he’s sailing. Says if the sea knows where he’s going there’s bound to be a big sea waiting for him when he gets there.
KATE: (Mocking captains) When a cat’s eyes are round, there’ll be fair weather. When they’re shaped like diamonds, there’s sure to be a storm.
GRANDPA: Hey, boy, what you catching there?
BOY: How you catch them fish, Grandpa? Just luck, I guess. GRANDPA: Not likely, Boy. Luck rides deep in the flick of the wrist. Miracles don’t pay the rent. Ain’t no nor’easter yet dumped no awsters on my deck
BOY: Mine neither, Grandpa. Ain’t had no luck my whole dang life.
GRANDPA: Don’t ‘spect none neither.
BOY: That so, Grandpa!
GRANDPA: Weren’t books enough ’round when I was growing. I put my whole mind on the water
(long Pause)
KATE AND SASSY: (Song: New Oysters. Traditional English Sales Jingle)
AT THE GROANING BOARD AT THE GROANING BOARD WHERE IT HURTS TOO MUCH TO STAND
BEN: (Song) ALL THE BREAD AND WINE WE MAY EAT LET THEM KNOW THE TIME WE STARTED TO MAKE A BANQUET FOR A PRINCE NEW OYSTERS! NEW OYSTERS! NEW WALEFLEET OYSTERS!
SASSY: (Song) AT A GROAT A PECK AT A GROAT A PECK EACH OYSTER WORTH TWO PENCE
BEN: (Song) WHAT A GOOD DEAL! FETCH US BREAD AND WINE THAT WE MAY EAT LET US LOSE NO TIME WITH SUCH GOOD MEAT, A BANQUET FOR A PRINCE!
(pause)
KATE: Hey, you boys, don’t you climb aboard Eenie. She’s got that hoof disease; you’ll probably kill her.
(pause)
LEN: Hey, George Floyd, look at that. Old stiff collar Boggs is driving to church!
BEN: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha
LEN: Down the middle of the two-lane road At ’bout eight miles an hour!
ALL: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha
BEN: ‘Bout forty honking cars backed up behind him Him, in that stiff collar, not even looking around! ALL: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha
BEN: Funniest thing I ever saw! Since last Sunday! Hey there, Ben. Ain’t that the big Walters woman gettin’ outta that truck?
BEN: Hush your mouth. Looks like she’s gonna charge, George. LEN: Oh, grab my onions!
(Everyone looks frightened, then relieved, and then sheepishly waves.)
13
SASSY: Oh, that’s a good bit of luck.
BEN: Sure is. I could have sworn that big old Walters woman was coming up here instead of to the store across the way.
(long pause)
KATE: Hey you boys, leave that horse alone! I told you. It’s got those infected hooves. Leave her alone!
LEN: Damn, fell off… right on his head.
(pause)
BEN: (To boy fallen from horse) Get up, now. You fell off the horse by yourself; you can get up by yourself. What the devil’s wrong with you!
KATE: What’s wrong with him? What’s wrong with you, you mean?
BEN: Don’t you see what’s happening, Kate?
KATE: I don’t see anything happening, but that boy lying there in the grass, cussing Eenie. BEN: Well, he’s messing up the fishing. ALL: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha
KATE: Very funny, very funny. (To Boy in yard) Get on out of that yard. Your head’s not broke. Get on in the house!
(Song: In the Sweet By and By)
THERE’S A LAND THAT IS FAIRER THAN DAY, AND BY FAITH WE CAN SEE IT AFAR; FOR THE FATHER WAITS OVER THE WAY TO PREPARE US A DWELLING PLACE THERE.
IN THE SWEET BY AND BY, WE SHALL MEET ON THAT BEAUTIFUL SHORE; IN THE SWEET BY AND BY, WE SHALL MEET ON THAT BEAUTIFUL SHORE.
TO OUR BOUNTIFUL FATHER ABOVE, WE WILL OFFER OUR TRIBUTE OF PRAISE FOR THE GLORIOUS GIFT OF HIS LOVE AND THE BLESSINGS THAT HALLOW OUR DAYS.
ROBERT ARTHUR’S EASTERN SHORE by Robert P. Arthur, twice nominated for Virginia’s Poet Laureate: The book includes 4 one-act plays, a selection of his award-winning poems, and “Hymn to the Chesapeake,” a play with music. The culture of the Eastern Shore watermen and waterwomen has long been threatened by the erosion of winds off the Chesapeake Bay and a dwindling supply of crabs and “ersters” to be harvested. These poems and plays celebrate that life and allow us, to share the triumph and the pain of finding one’s livelihood and reason for being in an environment that is both beautiful and unforgiving.
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Play Details
From Hymn to the Chesapeake:
SASSY: What do you think I care what the neighbors think?
BEN: I guess you’d care what the neighbors would think if it was about me here on Sunday morning sitting here on the porch with my shirt off.
SASSY: Now, you leave your shirt on. Don’t be a fool.
BEN: Guess I’ll just take my shirt off right here, since you don’t care what the neighbors think. SASSY: It ain’t what they think. It’s what I think that’s going to keep your shirt on…else you’re going to get this glass of lemonade right up against the side of your head.
(long pause)
LEN: Captain Turner says God’s domain ends at the shoreline and the devil’s takes up on the sea. Says God’s had enough of the sea. KATE: Every captain on the water has something to say.
LEN: Says the sea’s pure evil and that’s why he won’t ever say where he’s sailing. Says if the sea knows where he’s going there’s bound to be a big sea waiting for him when he gets there.
KATE: (Mocking captains) When a cat’s eyes are round, there’ll be fair weather. When they’re shaped like diamonds, there’s sure to be a storm.
GRANDPA: Hey, boy, what you catching there?
BOY: How you catch them fish, Grandpa? Just luck, I guess. GRANDPA: Not likely, Boy. Luck rides deep in the flick of the wrist. Miracles don’t pay the rent. Ain’t no nor’easter yet dumped no awsters on my deck
BOY: Mine neither, Grandpa. Ain’t had no luck my whole dang life.
GRANDPA: Don’t ‘spect none neither.
BOY: That so, Grandpa!
GRANDPA: Weren’t books enough ’round when I was growing. I put my whole mind on the water
(long Pause)
KATE AND SASSY: (Song: New Oysters. Traditional English Sales Jingle)
AT THE GROANING BOARD AT THE GROANING BOARD WHERE IT HURTS TOO MUCH TO STAND
BEN: (Song) ALL THE BREAD AND WINE WE MAY EAT LET THEM KNOW THE TIME WE STARTED TO MAKE A BANQUET FOR A PRINCE NEW OYSTERS! NEW OYSTERS! NEW WALEFLEET OYSTERS!
SASSY: (Song) AT A GROAT A PECK AT A GROAT A PECK EACH OYSTER WORTH TWO PENCE
BEN: (Song) WHAT A GOOD DEAL! FETCH US BREAD AND WINE THAT WE MAY EAT LET US LOSE NO TIME WITH SUCH GOOD MEAT, A BANQUET FOR A PRINCE!
(pause)
KATE: Hey, you boys, don’t you climb aboard Eenie. She’s got that hoof disease; you’ll probably kill her.
(pause)
LEN: Hey, George Floyd, look at that. Old stiff collar Boggs is driving to church!
BEN: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha
LEN: Down the middle of the two-lane road At ’bout eight miles an hour!
ALL: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha
BEN: ‘Bout forty honking cars backed up behind him Him, in that stiff collar, not even looking around! ALL: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha
BEN: Funniest thing I ever saw! Since last Sunday! Hey there, Ben. Ain’t that the big Walters woman gettin’ outta that truck?
BEN: Hush your mouth. Looks like she’s gonna charge, George. LEN: Oh, grab my onions!
(Everyone looks frightened, then relieved, and then sheepishly waves.)
13
SASSY: Oh, that’s a good bit of luck.
BEN: Sure is. I could have sworn that big old Walters woman was coming up here instead of to the store across the way.
(long pause)
KATE: Hey you boys, leave that horse alone! I told you. It’s got those infected hooves. Leave her alone!
LEN: Damn, fell off… right on his head.
(pause)
BEN: (To boy fallen from horse) Get up, now. You fell off the horse by yourself; you can get up by yourself. What the devil’s wrong with you!
KATE: What’s wrong with him? What’s wrong with you, you mean?
BEN: Don’t you see what’s happening, Kate?
KATE: I don’t see anything happening, but that boy lying there in the grass, cussing Eenie. BEN: Well, he’s messing up the fishing. ALL: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha
KATE: Very funny, very funny. (To Boy in yard) Get on out of that yard. Your head’s not broke. Get on in the house!
(Song: In the Sweet By and By)
THERE’S A LAND THAT IS FAIRER THAN DAY, AND BY FAITH WE CAN SEE IT AFAR; FOR THE FATHER WAITS OVER THE WAY TO PREPARE US A DWELLING PLACE THERE.
IN THE SWEET BY AND BY, WE SHALL MEET ON THAT BEAUTIFUL SHORE; IN THE SWEET BY AND BY, WE SHALL MEET ON THAT BEAUTIFUL SHORE.
TO OUR BOUNTIFUL FATHER ABOVE, WE WILL OFFER OUR TRIBUTE OF PRAISE FOR THE GLORIOUS GIFT OF HIS LOVE AND THE BLESSINGS THAT HALLOW OUR DAYS.