Original Relocation
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WOMAN: (Whiney) I’m tired. Are we there yet?
MAN: (Irritated) No. Keep walking.
WOMAN: How do YOU know? Maybe we’re lost.
MAN: We’re not there yet and we’re not lost.
WOMAN: Do you even know where we’re going?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: Then how do you know we’re not lost?
MAN: We’re headed in the right direction.
WOMAN: Maybe we’re going in circles.
MAN: No, we’re getting farther from the garden.
WOMAN: I don’t see it anymore. It doesn’t seem like this is going anywhere.
MAN: We’ll BOTH know when we get there. You heard him as well as I did.
WOMAN: (Sad and hurt) I never saw him angry before.
MAN: Well, what did you expect?
WOMAN: I guess a lecture or parable or something.
MAN: One simple rule and YOU couldn’t follow it.
WOMAN: YOU didn’t follow it either. Don’t put all the blame on me!
MAN: I wanted to “validate your decision.”
WOMAN: Besides, I never heard the rule from him — only from you. I should
be off the hook.
MAN: Did you think I was making it up?
WOMAN: It just seemed so arbitrary. And maybe it applied only to you and
not me.
MAN: It wasn’t MY rule — it was HIS. And it applied to both of us.
WOMAN: How can you be so sure?
MAN: I’m stronger than you so you’re supposed to be my helper. You DO
know the one time you were on top was because I let you, right?
WOMAN: Yes, you’re stronger and I want to help you. But that doesn’t mean I
have to do everything you tell me.
MAN: Well, you definitely should’ve listened to me THAT time. I told you
EXACTLY what he said. Word for word.
WOMAN: That lousy snake in the grass!
MAN: Still blaming the serpent.
WOMAN: Snake.
MAN: You told him it was a serpent.
Adam and Eve start the first world war as they negotiate an uneasy peace when they are banished from Paradise. A funny take on the likely conversation after being ejected from Paradise. And of course, there are rules about Apples.
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Play Details
WOMAN: (Whiney) I’m tired. Are we there yet?
MAN: (Irritated) No. Keep walking.
WOMAN: How do YOU know? Maybe we’re lost.
MAN: We’re not there yet and we’re not lost.
WOMAN: Do you even know where we’re going?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: Then how do you know we’re not lost?
MAN: We’re headed in the right direction.
WOMAN: Maybe we’re going in circles.
MAN: No, we’re getting farther from the garden.
WOMAN: I don’t see it anymore. It doesn’t seem like this is going anywhere.
MAN: We’ll BOTH know when we get there. You heard him as well as I did.
WOMAN: (Sad and hurt) I never saw him angry before.
MAN: Well, what did you expect?
WOMAN: I guess a lecture or parable or something.
MAN: One simple rule and YOU couldn’t follow it.
WOMAN: YOU didn’t follow it either. Don’t put all the blame on me!
MAN: I wanted to “validate your decision.”
WOMAN: Besides, I never heard the rule from him — only from you. I should
be off the hook.
MAN: Did you think I was making it up?
WOMAN: It just seemed so arbitrary. And maybe it applied only to you and
not me.
MAN: It wasn’t MY rule — it was HIS. And it applied to both of us.
WOMAN: How can you be so sure?
MAN: I’m stronger than you so you’re supposed to be my helper. You DO
know the one time you were on top was because I let you, right?
WOMAN: Yes, you’re stronger and I want to help you. But that doesn’t mean I
have to do everything you tell me.
MAN: Well, you definitely should’ve listened to me THAT time. I told you
EXACTLY what he said. Word for word.
WOMAN: That lousy snake in the grass!
MAN: Still blaming the serpent.
WOMAN: Snake.
MAN: You told him it was a serpent.