Attack at the Pierre Fontaine
45 Minutes
2 Males, 4 Females, Max/Min 6
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Iris’ apartment. Door buzzer. Iris enters from bedroom, carrying a strip of bubble wrap and scissors. She crosses to door, looks though peep hole, unlocks many locks, and opens door…
IRIS: Dierdre!
DIERDRE: Am I early?
IRIS: Not at all, come in.
DIERDRE: (Entering) I’m early, you’re being nice, but Iris before anyone comes I want to confide to you: I’m not in favor of this plan. I’d really have to be persuaded that the entire world is sick, sick, sick, not just the terrorists. And I don’t believe it…(Beat)…What are you doing holding scissors?
IRIS: I was cutting fabric.
DIERDRE: Oh. Do you know they confiscated my nail scissors at La Guardia?
IRIS: Yes, you told me, or you told Allison and she told me.
DIERDRE: No, I told Allison and she told Tony and Tony told you, that’s what Tony told me.
IRIS: Oh. That sounds right, Tony’s quite the “networker.”
DIERDRE: No, he’s quite the leader, ”in charge”…up here?…(pointing to her head).
IRIS: “Captain” Tony…he’s still in the Veterans of Foreign Wars.
DIERDRE: He told me he’s in favor of your plan, that you want us to “assemble” together if…we’re attacked!
IRIS: As a matter of fact, Dierdre, Tony has an idea about how we can all survive, that…
DIERDRE: Of course, of course…but, look at me, I’m all nerves, I don’t belong in groups. I don’t even attend our Co-Op meetings! But since this plan is YOURS, Iris, one my dearest FRIENDS! — I’m here. (checking her watch) : I’m crowding it in. But LOOK! a fast meeting, right? Here, I brought a hat, I put ballots in it so we can vote and get out early. Where should I put it?
New Lexington, OH, October 2015
Act Too - Perry County Opera House and Cultural Arts Center - New Lexington, OH
Members of the cast for “Attack at the Pierre Fontaine” include (front left) Sara Hoover, Martha Pickenpaugh, Roger Dusenberry; (back) Betsy Martin, Rita Ervin, and Dave Kiener.
In this one-act comedy for seniors, a group of long-time friends and residents of the Pierre Fontaine Hotel are alarmed by the increasing dangers in the outside world. One of their members has “news” of an imminent attack. Together, they try to plan a defense strategy (including duct tape?????) which will protect them all. The hilarious but semi-serious results unfold…
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Play Details
Iris’ apartment. Door buzzer. Iris enters from bedroom, carrying a strip of bubble wrap and scissors. She crosses to door, looks though peep hole, unlocks many locks, and opens door…
IRIS: Dierdre!
DIERDRE: Am I early?
IRIS: Not at all, come in.
DIERDRE: (Entering) I’m early, you’re being nice, but Iris before anyone comes I want to confide to you: I’m not in favor of this plan. I’d really have to be persuaded that the entire world is sick, sick, sick, not just the terrorists. And I don’t believe it…(Beat)…What are you doing holding scissors?
IRIS: I was cutting fabric.
DIERDRE: Oh. Do you know they confiscated my nail scissors at La Guardia?
IRIS: Yes, you told me, or you told Allison and she told me.
DIERDRE: No, I told Allison and she told Tony and Tony told you, that’s what Tony told me.
IRIS: Oh. That sounds right, Tony’s quite the “networker.”
DIERDRE: No, he’s quite the leader, ”in charge”…up here?…(pointing to her head).
IRIS: “Captain” Tony…he’s still in the Veterans of Foreign Wars.
DIERDRE: He told me he’s in favor of your plan, that you want us to “assemble” together if…we’re attacked!
IRIS: As a matter of fact, Dierdre, Tony has an idea about how we can all survive, that…
DIERDRE: Of course, of course…but, look at me, I’m all nerves, I don’t belong in groups. I don’t even attend our Co-Op meetings! But since this plan is YOURS, Iris, one my dearest FRIENDS! — I’m here. (checking her watch) : I’m crowding it in. But LOOK! a fast meeting, right? Here, I brought a hat, I put ballots in it so we can vote and get out early. Where should I put it?
New Lexington, OH, October 2015
Act Too - Perry County Opera House and Cultural Arts Center - New Lexington, OH
Members of the cast for “Attack at the Pierre Fontaine” include (front left) Sara Hoover, Martha Pickenpaugh, Roger Dusenberry; (back) Betsy Martin, Rita Ervin, and Dave Kiener.